Helping Kids Love Their Quirks

I once taught a teenager who had this *extraordinary* ability to make room for everyone in her circle. She filled the room with her warmth. Younger kids -- especially -- felt safe in her orbit.

She'd also had a tic since childhood: a repetitive, involuntary physical movement that was impossible to hide. In middle school, this sent her on an emotional tailspin. No one wants to feel different in middle school.

But, she told me, that began to change when her dad took her on a ride in his truck. He told her that he LOVED her tic because he loved *every* part of her.

"You've got to find a way to love your quirks," he told her. "We all have them -- yours just happens to stand out a little extra. So be extra!"

Extra-ordinary.

As I tell my kids, "Everybody has to be some way. Wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same way?"

As usual, Mr. Rogers puts it even better:

"What matters most for children is how they feel about their uniqueness once they do begin to realize that they are, in some ways, different from everyone else.

How they feel about this early in their lives often determines whether they grow into adults who rejoice in the diversity of the world’s people or into adults who fear and resent that kind of diversity.."

~Deborah Farmer Kris